Rejected Nintendo Land Attractions

Behold Nintendo Land, the greatest theme park that ever wasn’t!

When Nintendo Land swings wide its virtual gates this November visitors will enjoy such attractions as Metroid Blast, Animal Crossing: Sweet Day, and Octopus Dance!

These attractions are sure to represent the apex of Nintendo magic. But, surely during the park’s imagineering some attractions must have been rejected for being unsafe or inappropriate for the Mii masses. Join us on a journey of imagination as we explore which attractions may have been rejected by the giant floating head of Iwata-san.

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Level 003: Apple iTinis

Mayan Scientists (Mayacists?) predicted that the world would end in 2012. So, we probably won’t be playing many video games in 2013.

But, on the off chance that a Mayacist misplaced a decimal point or quetzalcoatl head, we discuss Apple & Nintendo’s latest unveilings along with Steam’s Big Picture mode.

Join Rick, Justin, Setch, Matthew, and James on a voyage beyond the end of time as we probe the depths of the iOS gaming, Valve’s benevolant tyranny, and the adorkably quirksome WiiU.

Learn about primitive game apes and the beautiful arc of their bananas, surprising uses for portals, and what happens when one of the podcast ingredients is 99 proof. Also, enjoy a good laugh at the expense of orphans. Yes friends, this week’s episode is bursting at the seams and slurring at the mouth with listening pleasure.

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Pretty Potables: Apple iTini

Apple iTiniThis week’s show is best enjoyed while slurping on an Apple-iTini. Making your own at home is easy, and only violates a handful of patents.

Combine equal parts:

  • Canadian Whiskey
  • Apple Schnapps
  • Cranberry Juice

Shake with ice and pour into a rounded rectangular glass. Manufacture the shaker and glass in Shenzhen to save money on the supply chain. Serve with a chilled apple slice with a single bite taken out.

Make 5000 and, using everything you’ve ever learned, calculate which ones have the smallest differentiation for the most perfect cocktail!

Final Fantasy in a Tweet

In this week’s boss battle the Pretty Pretty People were challenged to reduce the plots of final fantasy games into the space of a single tweet.

Original? Not exactly! You may remember when LOST was a relevant thing there was a contest to summarize all six seasons in a single tweet. Producer/Writer Damon Lindelof even got in on the act.

See if you can guess which title from the Final Fantasy Universe is being tweeted before you highlight the super secret surprise answer. Continue reading

Level 002: Gyshal Greens

Rick, Justin, Setch, James, and the occasional Matthew celebrate the 25th anniversary of Final Fantasy in gay old style by imbibing Gyshal Greens and chatting about everything from character crushes to Ultros’s awesome octopussiness.

Join us in summoning up some fun in this week’s exciting episode. And, don’t forget that you can tweet at us via @pppixel, or spam us through mail@prettyprettypixel.com.

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Pretty Potables: Gyshal Greens

Gyshal GreensIn preparation for this week’s episode of the podcast, mix up a batch of Gyshal Greens, a refreshing summer cocktail that’s sure to bring all the chocobos to the yard.

Start by making an Arnold Palmer. Combine equal parts:

  • Iced Tea
  • Lemonade

If you’d like, you can make it into a Laura Palmer by wrapping it in plastic and talking backwards.

Gin up the teetotaling treat with some gin. Add mint leaves for that wild zest. Serve over ice. Kweh.

Please be aware that riding chocobos who are under the influence may be illegal in some states. Check with your local sheriff, maester, or Fal’cie god face before riding.

 

What’s in a Name?

Hey guys, can you believe there was a time before Pretty Pretty Pixel was a thing? It’s true! It was so not a thing that it didn’t even have a name.

Mr. T Experience once wrote, “You’re an anomaly, that’s a thing without a name…” That is not what anomaly means! But it is what Pretty Pretty Pixel was. And that was a thing that could not stand! Like a table with one really long leg. Which would be an anomaly.

For your voyeuristic pleasure, let us take a peak behind Pretty Pretty Pixel’s meat curtain and enjoy the sausage being made, (it’s OK to mix metaphors if they’re both meat related) as we unravel the mystery of the pretty pretty title.

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Level 001: Princess Peach Bellinis

Matt, Rick, Setch, Justin, and James gather at the altar of Super Mario to discuss the plucky plumber’s latest game, his greatest accomplishments, and his tush. Which is sort of an accomplishment.

We also marvel at the technological marvel that is the Nintendo 3DS XL. Is this massive portal into the third dimension a work of witchcraft? If listening to the show gives you ear warts, the answer may be yes. The answer may also be HPV. Sorry about that.

As if that wasn’t enough, you may discover troubling truths rocking the foundations of the Mushroom Kingdom, off-label uses for Nintendo Power magazine, and how to make your own Princess Peach bellini at home.

If all this has wet your warp whistle, I invite – no command – you to enjoy this week’s episode of the Pretty Pretty Pixel podcast featuring New Super Mario Bros. 2, the Nintnedo 3DS XL, and an eerily spot on impression of Toadsworth.

(Bee Tee Dubs: Spoliers Ahoy)

Some Sound Effects & Music from: http://www.freesfx.co.uk

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Pretty Potables: Princess Peach Bellini

Dear Friends:

Please come to the podcast. We’ve mixed a drink for you.

Yours truly —

Pretty Pretty Pixel

PEACH!

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