Pretty Pretty Public Comment

Are you suffering from post-election depression? Do you wandering cyberspace looking for a reason to tweet or boxes or check? Are you bursting with thoughts and opinions but lack a willing vessel to spew them on?

Worry not friend. Pretty Pretty Pixel can help. Hose us down with your point of view by providing feedback on podcast episodes 1 – 6.
How you ask? There are so many ways!

The power is yours!

Pretty Potables: Mario Paint Muse

Mario Paint MuseFor literally tens of years fancy artists have needed a little help getting the creative juices flowing. That is why full-time pirate and part-time potter Captain Morgan invented alcohol. Yes, trusty booze will get those juices flowing all right! Straight out the pee hole and into the urinal. This is how Marcel Duchamp was invented. And that’s your history lesson for the day. Drink this while listening to this week’s show:

  • 1.5 oz Lucid Absinthe
  • 2 oz Pineapple juice
  • Mint leaves
  • Lime wedge
  • Sprite
  • Skittles
  • Novelty ice cubes with flies inside.

Muddle the mint leaves with the lime wedge in a shaker. Add the Lucid Absinthe, pineapple juice and fill with ice. Shake briefly and strain into a tall glass filled with fresh ice. Top with Sprite and garnish with a mint sprig and lime wedge.

Dump a rainbow of Skittles into the glass.

Serve from the belly button of a stick figure doing sit ups.

When the drink is drank, notice the novelty flies at the bottom of the glass. Throw them all over the room and swat furiously. Your guests will love you for it.

Before long you’ll be seeing a green fairy, a filthy piggy, or the grim reaper. Works great as a either a cocktail or a paint thinner – drinkable turpenoid if you will.

Pretty Potables: Humble Pie Mudslide

Humble Pie MudslidePut down the Tecate and break out the food stamps and trustfund checks, because it’s time for an indie treat that’ll have you bursting out of those skinny jeans in no time. In honor of the Humble Indie Bundle 6, we’ve whipped up a Humble Pie Mudslide, a confection that has all the deliciously ironic accessibility of a night at T.G.I.Friday’s and is hand crafted with locally sourced generic shit.

  • Miscellaneous Coffee Liqueur
  • Off-brand Irish Creme
  • Grotty Vodka
  • Store Label Half & Half
  • Dubious Vanilla Extract
  • Not-Oreos
  • Refrozen Ice Cubes

Toss everything into a blender and grind away until you have a pungent sludge that looks and smells amazing. Pour into up-cycled 40 oz. bottle in a brown paper bag. Some separation will occur as the drink settles. This is a metaphor for how you will separate from your ideals and dreams as you settle down and become totes mainstream. Feel anxiety. Listen to Girl Talk. Remind yourself that your taste in things is what makes you superior to other people.

Unlikely Borderlands 2 DLC

No doubt in the coming months Borderlands 2 will offer us the opportunity to exchange actual money for the privilege of looting oodles more imaginary guns and selling them to cartoon people for simulated money. We believe this process will end the recession.

But, what does the future of Borderlands 2 Downloadable Content hold? With our crystal ball in hawk, it’s up to us to speculate in the grand theater of the imagination. More bonerfarts? One can only hope. Keep reading for all of our pretty pretty predictions.

Continue reading “Unlikely Borderlands 2 DLC”

Bayonetta’s Proportion Party

Bayonetta joins Nintendo's greatest mascots

In case you haven’t heard, Bayonetta’s latest adventure is going to be a Wii U exclusive. Good thing all the other characters in the Nintendo stable are 18 heads tall, have mammoth thighs and roomy bosoms– wouldn’t want the poor girl to feel out of place!

(Also, if you’re looking for something to add to your Autumn reading list, take a cue from Luke and read Atlas of the Human Anatomy for the Artist. It’s illuminating.)

Pretty Potables: Handsome Jack & Coke

Handsome Jack & CokeArm yourself for this week’s episode with a Handsome Jack & Coke in the mouth. This drink feels good going down, but just might try and kill you.

  • 1 oz. Jack Daniel’s
  • 1 oz.Tequila
  • 8 oz. Coca-Cola Zero
  • 3 drops Slag (Grape Dimetapp or Grape Syrup)

Pour the Jack, Coke, and Tequila into into a hip flask. Add a couple drops of slag. Store in a mini-fridge conspicuously identified by a green LED. Load the mini-fridge with money, firearms, springy novelty snakes, and an angry midget.

When feeling your smarmiest, open the fridge. Surprise! All sorts of stuff is flying out at you! It’s awesomely overwhelming. Awesowhelming!? Overwhelsome?! Awewhelmish!

Holster your flask and reload as necessary.

Warnings: Little people may die if you put them in refrigerated boxes. You may die if you drink alcohol and cough medicine mixed together – despite what Moe Szyslak may have taught you. This recipe should not be used for the purposes of killing yourself or others.

Rejected Nintendo Land Attractions

Behold Nintendo Land, the greatest theme park that ever wasn’t!

When Nintendo Land swings wide its virtual gates this November visitors will enjoy such attractions as Metroid Blast, Animal Crossing: Sweet Day, and Octopus Dance!

These attractions are sure to represent the apex of Nintendo magic. But, surely during the park’s imagineering some attractions must have been rejected for being unsafe or inappropriate for the Mii masses. Join us on a journey of imagination as we explore which attractions may have been rejected by the giant floating head of Iwata-san.

Continue reading “Rejected Nintendo Land Attractions”

Pretty Potables: Apple iTini

Apple iTiniThis week’s show is best enjoyed while slurping on an Apple-iTini. Making your own at home is easy, and only violates a handful of patents.

Combine equal parts:

  • Canadian Whiskey
  • Apple Schnapps
  • Cranberry Juice

Shake with ice and pour into a rounded rectangular glass. Manufacture the shaker and glass in Shenzhen to save money on the supply chain. Serve with a chilled apple slice with a single bite taken out.

Make 5000 and, using everything you’ve ever learned, calculate which ones have the smallest differentiation for the most perfect cocktail!

Final Fantasy in a Tweet

In this week’s boss battle the Pretty Pretty People were challenged to reduce the plots of final fantasy games into the space of a single tweet.

Original? Not exactly! You may remember when LOST was a relevant thing there was a contest to summarize all six seasons in a single tweet. Producer/Writer Damon Lindelof even got in on the act.

See if you can guess which title from the Final Fantasy Universe is being tweeted before you highlight the super secret surprise answer. Continue reading “Final Fantasy in a Tweet”