Rejected Nintendo Land Attractions

Behold Nintendo Land, the greatest theme park that ever wasn’t!

When Nintendo Land swings wide its virtual gates this November visitors will enjoy such attractions as Metroid Blast, Animal Crossing: Sweet Day, and Octopus Dance!

These attractions are sure to represent the apex of Nintendo magic. But, surely during the park’s imagineering some attractions must have been rejected for being unsafe or inappropriate for the Mii masses. Join us on a journey of imagination as we explore which attractions may have been rejected by the giant floating head of Iwata-san.

Nintendo Land Rejects

  • NintenSharks Petting Zoo
  • Wii Fit Into Narrow Crevices
  • Donkey Kongs Ding Dong : a Doorbell Ditch’n Dynamo
  • Pikachu; on the Toilet
  • Samus’s Stripper Pole-nanza
  • Chibi-Robo’s Water Park (and Charging Station)
  • Ridley Scott’s: Pikman
  • Kirby’s Adventure at the County Morgue
  • Mother Brain’s MENSA MILFs
  • Dr. Mario’s Methadone Clinic
  • Princess Toad’s Stool
  • Kuribo’s Shoe Fretish
  • Fils Aime’s Grand Gallery of Pictochat Dongs
  • Donkey Kong’s Banana Bukkake
  • Wario’s Funhouse Full of Farts. šŸ™
  • Windwanker
  • Tingle’s Touch and Tickle Toboggan
  • Mario Kart: Road Head Racers
  • Tom Nook’s Furry Fandemonium
  • Nintencats Presents Princess Peach’s Pussy Parade
  • ***Wario Land: Jack It!***
  • Fairy Fountain: Blow Buddies
  • Kirby and Mii: Wii Suck U
  • Mike Tyson’s Punch Out

You too can get in on the fun! Tweet your favorite unsafe orĀ inappropriateĀ Nintendo Land attraction using the hashtag: #NintendoLandRejects. Or, let us know what your brain came up with in the comments.

 

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